By Abby Cronin
I can assume that if you’re reading this, you’ve probably been Googling about your relationship for at least 20 minutes already. Look no further for advice, friend, for I am about to deliver the tips that have set me free from relationship depression forever!
So I don’t really know your individual circumstances or what actually led you to suspect your relationship is making you depressed, but your feelings are valid and you probably aren’t crazy. Everyone gets depressed from time to time, and for lots of different reasons. So while your relationship could certainly be the catalyst of your depressive episode, it’s always good to make sure there aren’t deeper issues. Therapy never hurt anyone and doctors usually don’t either.
Now that we’ve gotten those boring medical disclaimers out of the way, let’s get to the good stuff. Your depressing relationship.
Where to Begin
First off, relationships shouldn’t make you feel sad or bad or mad all the time. I think we’ve been misled as a society to believe that relationships have to be tumultuous to be legit, and it’s just flat out false. What we see in t.v. and movies isn’t real life, and it’s so important to remember that. Drama makes for good entertainment but for adult relationships in the real world…it doesn’t. It makes everyone uncomfortable at dinner parties and probably isn’t doing your mental health any favors.
If your relationship is toxic…THROW IT OUT.
Deep inside your brain and somewhere behind those million Yahoo! Answers searches you know it’s not right. As my mom always says “When you know, you know”, and it goes both ways. For when it’s right and when it’s not. As much as people hate to hear it, there are a million others out there that are probably a better fit. Ones that won’t make you depressed or mad. Which leads me to my next tip…
Have a 0 Bullshit Threshold.
If you worry your boyfriend or girlfriend is cheating…ask them. And if their answer doesn’t sit right with you, trust your frickin gut and LEAVE. If you don’t trust your partner, there’s probably a reason. These seeds of doubt in your brain will make you crazy and turn your into someone you don’t even recognize. None of us want to be that person whose deepest fantasies include sifting through our partner’s Instagram DMs. This leads me to my next tip- that if you put this much time and effort into background checking your partner…
Pick Up Hobbies and Don’t Let YOU Fade Away.
I often find depression stems from feeling a lack of purpose. If your purpose has somehow been warped into maintaining your relationship, it’s very possible that’s why you’re feeling so depressed. Ask yourself, what are the top three things I do with my free time? If the answers are watch netflix, eat, and take naps with your S.O., you’re setting yourself up for a long road to nothing. If your relationship is built on activities you can essentially do with anyone, it might be time to branch out. Create art, make music, get into the gym- do anything that gives YOU value and creates an end result. Creation is depressions worst enemy!
So there you have it, my personal tips on how to avoid relationship depression or anything similarly toxic. Don’t settle for less than you deserve, and know that you are valuable whether you’re single, in a relationship, or several-times-divorced. Best of luck in your future love endeavors!
If you want relationship advice or have questions you want answered, write in to me at firstname.lastname@example.org. We might even feature you on the blog!